Journal Notes: I have no purpose left. I haven’t been able to think straight, my head and neck tics are excruciating, my cognitive function, the strange body movements and thoughts, the trauma and the abuse surfacing every day, a waking nightmare, a living hell. It’s a nightmare even to do the simplest task, and my wife just robs me blind every day and texts hearts and love (as if she wants her cake and to eat it too, it disgusts me and hurts so bad). She's otherwise completely absent from my actual life, and all I am allowed to do is live with some basic needs and ultimate control and being taken advantage of. I just hate it. Every day I hate it. I can't even sign onto electronics, and everything gets in the way of everything. I can't even get through to anyone, whether it is a doctor or business of some kind. It just sucks. Big time. Lastly, whether it causes me to be locked up or not I wholeheartedly believe that I have been gaslighted and abused my whole life. I am glad I have MY FRIEND MAC and my cats and wish I had the means and capability to do something. But, I won't.
The very people who are trying to help me all my life, unfortunately, fall victim to being my enemy. After all, the truth is I am my very own worst enemy. I'm not planning on changing myself for better. I am most often a hateful, diabolical, disgusting and evil person. It's the reason why I have no friends, and I will never have any, even though I want them. I am a severe masochist, too lazy to become my solution even though I am my problems. So forget it.
Jonathan Harnisch has proclaimed himself the King of Mental Illness. A schizophrenic with Tourette's, he often feels like a twisted character treading in an otherwise ordinary world. It comes as both a shock and a familiar feeling, then, when he discovers that a friend and fellow author has written him into her book. Seeking to displace the perhaps one-dimensional image created of him, Harnisch sets out to write his own account of the characters that have ruled his life—bare, raw, and endlessly revealing. Glad You're Not Me is a rarely seen, shocking account of living with schizophrenia. Written in chaotic vignettes that resonate to the same frequency as William Burrough's Naked Lunch, the pages leap from bitter honesty to barbed defenses to deeply disturbing pornographic fantasy. Harnisch's disturbed, arrogant, and brutally authentic voice is unapologetic in its obscenities and dangerous desires, for mental illness comes with no filter—it is dark, it is troubling, it leads its audience into confusing places. To censor the words within this book would strip it of its integrity, for the reader must see, however horrible, the truth of illnesses of the mind.
Harnisch (Freak, 2016, etc.) presents a semiautobiographical book of meditations on mental illness and the world at large. The author explains in an introduction that his book is "an intentionally non-linear, plotless narrative that reflects the chaotic structure of Jonathan Harnisch's mind." And, as the contents make evident, one would be hard-pressed to come up with a more apt description. The 21 short chapters feature titles ranging from the raunchy "Ode to Granny the Tranny: Nurse Natalie" to the more perplexing "I am a Responsive Santa on Steroids." The book was written, to some extent, as a response to Myriam Gurba's 2011 book Wish You Were Me, and it offers a loose foray into Harnisch's thinking that's full of singsong prose ("Maybe at a museum. At the MOMA--The motherfucking Museum of Modern Art"). Topics include schizophrenia and a lost connection with actor Mel Gibson: "He and I have built memories together, just memories, and the resurrection of reconnecting. We haven't been in touch since 2005 or 2006." There's also a graphic love rant ("I'm sick over you. I want to throw up all my love on you") and a note on personal endurance ("my resilience emanates from the greatest lesson I've learned: laughter"). This book is every bit as free-wheeling as the introduction implies, providing a glimpse at its author's inner workings--both in its flights of fancy and in its more earnest sentiments. It's in the tradition of such other autobiographical writers as Kathy Acker (described herein as the author's "fantasy date"), and it provides a light skim across the waters of a self-described "mentally ill artist" who's not all too keen on how readers will feel about any of it: "Wander the reader astray, do not attempt to care for the reader, kill the reader." Overall, it's an assuredly brief collage of varied, unabashedly unpolished feelings. An untethered collection of one man's thoughts that introduces readers to the possibilities of chapbook-style constructions.
-- Kirkus Reviews
This provocative new work from a writer who revels in exploring the darker sides of the mind creates an unforgettable experience. In his latest work, Glad You're Not Me, controversial writer Jonathan Harnisch follows his most primal instincts into a literary jungle of lust, violence, and moral paradox. The book's graphic and sensational imagery creates a disturbing and unforgettable experience. Harnisch is a schizophrenic who explores his own mental illness through writing and art. Glad You're Not Me can be characterized as a work of transgressive fiction and is heavily autobiographical. In contrast to therapeutic or reformist ways of thinking, transgressive writing seeks moral and psychological truths by crossing boundaries, violating social mores, and subverting status-quo values. Harnisch's narrator revels in this task: "Wander the reader astray, do not attempt to care for the reader, kill the reader." The book's preliminary "contract" promises to engage in "normal, healthy, positive, nonviolent, and consensual" erotic content. The statement rings with irony, leaving questions of what is normal and healthy behavior and who decides. As if to break this initial contract, a subsequent chapter, "Ode to Granny the Tranny: Nurse Natalie," unleashes a profusion of violent sexual imagery. Perversely lyrical, the chapter demonstrates how the death instinct, the desire for self-annihilation, can lead to intense experiences of love. "Cremate me and eat my ashes," demands the narrator. Lovers consume each other until the anarchic experience of sexuality has obliterated all confines of personality. This intensity, however, comes in fits and starts. Many passages in between are insipid. For instance, correspondence with a writing friend is serialized in several chapters, some entries as scant as three lines. The narrator also obsesses about celebrity and prestige. He calls his own writing "some of the most original and thought-provoking of modern day." Whether viewed as self-parody or self-importance, the aggrandizing detracts from the more interesting and humanizing aspects of the nonlinear narrative. Harnisch succeeds most as a writer when he uncovers honest insights about the ego. "We narcissists tend to have low or no self-esteem," the narrator says at the end of "Never Follow an Outline." In "Queer Theory/Why I Write," he talks about trying to "seduce" the reader: "Try to. Fail with glorious misery." This failure, though, leads to a keener sense of humanity: "We all have hearts. They just seem to go astray for a while." Glad You're Not Me raises more questions than it answers. To call it a provocative work would be an understatement. Its entire purpose is to provoke. For readers who can handle the darker side of human experience, it may prove a worthwhile read.
-- Foreword Clarion Reviews
With Glad You're Not Me, essayist and novelist Jonathan Harnisch offers a short entry in the ongoing, semi-autobiographical work that has characterized his writing. The author is open about suffering from several mental disorders, including schizophrenia and Tourette's syndrome, and his raw experience enhances and informs his work. Here, he seems to appear as a version of himself, which he calls "Harnisch the writer"-- although he also emerges as a different sort of enigma in the personality he dubs, "The Mentally Ill Artist." This rather funny, self-admitted narcissist presents what seems to be a distorted mirror image to a fictionalized version of Harnisch rendered in real life-writer Myriam Gurba's chapbook Wish You Were Me. Harnisch refers to Gurba's book repeatedly, and notes that his book is his direct response to the chapbook he calls "...pioneering with all its weird and unexplored thought patterns." In this book, Harnisch spills out his thoughts in 21 snapshots of varying lengths and subjects. Sometimes his writing can be quite poetic. In explaining why he writes, Harnisch says, "My goal: to attain an ounce, a moment of seemingly impossible peace of mind, through complete honesty and self-love, by any means necessary." Sometimes he muses on his own character as a human being. Other passages are grotesque depictions of deviant sexuality often involving transsexuals. And sometimes, he's letting us in on his ironic sense of humor, if subtly. "Envision a blend of a mentally ill mind with unsurpassed resilience and fiery intellect and your result would be the brilliant me," Harnisch writes. These passages vary in quality: Text messages between Harnisch and Gurba are rather pedestrian compared to the author's thoughts on time travel or the creative spirit, but there's no denying his unique voice. Is he paying homage to Gurba for her portrayal of him in her chapbook? Probably. Is he also playing with his readers and their implied perception of his art and his illness? Definitely. Whatever the intent, his talent is undeniable, even if this may be a bit too pointed of an entry into his byzantine mindset. New readers might be better served starting with his larger saga, Jonathan Harnisch: An Alibiography.
-- BlueInk Review
Doing a terrific job with the hard-core benzo detox, reestablishing what I want out of life and what I don't. Priorities. After all the searching for treating my mental health, which dragged on and on, over the many years, since my childhood; it appears that we have finally found a "miracle" medication that works for me; its pros outway the cons. A month left on the Klon detox; then we titrate down off all the psychoactive drugs I have been on since age 12. Including Perphenazine, used to treat the schizophrenia spectrum, PTSD, and psychosis, with which I live. Less than a month, and before my 41st birthday in mid-January,I look forward to being cigarette-free for my first year, and clean/sober for 14 years, some, not all, but some addictions and obsessions have quelled this year as well, as I ponder. Feeling enormously grateful and blessed, in a different way than I have ever experienced, it's difficult to explain. But I am happy. I've been happy for a few days now. Thank you for your support and involvement with my healing.
LOVER IN THE NOBODY by Jonathan Harnisch is a novel surrounding the terrors and hardships of mental health disorders. Focusing on the illness of Multiple Personality Disorder, we meet Ben, who's alter ego is Georgie. He is obsessed with a women named Claudia – he loves her than he hates her. The author holds nothing back in this true-to-life novel as we dive closer and closer into the depths of Ben's illness. The author takes the reader on the journey with Ben, creating day-to-day scenes to help us understand how Ben's mind works. Many of the scenes made me feel odd and uncomfortable. The tone was bizarre and creepy at times, but I commend the author on his approach. His writing is natural and conversation and dialogue are well-crafted. However, I did catch many typos and grammar issues throughout the book. The cover is intriguing and the title is a nice fit for content. Overall, a brave and honest novel, following the disturbed character of Ben on his journey to mental recovery. However, I would suggest another major edit is needed in order to tighten the novel and create more of a faster pace to get the reader to fully invest in Ben. Maybe adding another character, or outsider to the situation would help the reader connect with someone other than the main character.
— Judge, 24th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards
I was intrigued by the illustrations of WHEN WE WERE INVINCIBLE by Jonathan Harnisch. I thought the tone that the cover suggested to the reader worked nicely with the content inside. Digging into the novella, the author was honest on the page and I could tell that this novel was diving deeper into the main character's struggle with mental illness. Georgie is one complicated character. The author was brave in his approach to create a strong voice from Georgie, and he was successful. However, what was lacking in this novella was a hook. The novella is told in a “telling” approach, as if the author is just telling us the story of Georgie -- we follow him through his daily day. I'd wish for the author to step back and really examine how he might be able to deliver the story differently -- how to maybe create more characters in the novella to help the reader feel more connected to Georgie's world. Translations also need attention. Sometimes I was confused as we moved into the next scene, so I'd wish for the author to look at these translations more carefully. Overall, an interesting novella with important and serious mental health issues through the eyes of the main character. Needs more work in character development, translations and overall story structure.
— Judge, 24th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards
LIVING COLORFUL BEAUTY by Jonathan Harnisch is a fascinating novel into the disturbed mind of the main character, Ben. Diving into the novel, it is clear that the author has approached this topic in a careful and sensitive way. He successfully brings in the chaos of Ben's obsessions to the pages. Claudia Nesbitt, his obsession, is clearly presented throughout the novel. The author brings in a compelling yet complicated tone in order to understand Ben's past and why he is obsessed with Claudia – through his alter ego, Georgie. As hard as some of the scenes are to read through, the author successfully coasts the reader into the depths of Georgie and Ben, helping the reader understand the reasoning behind the madness. Creepy most of the way through, yet definitely interesting and well-delivered, Jonathan Harnisch's book is a honest attempt to explain a mental disorder on sexual obsessions. I will note that I was completely misguided by the cover image and title. I felt as though the cover did not present the material inside correctly, and the stretched out image was hard to see. The title seemed too cheerful to my eye and I would have thought a title with darker undertones would be a better fit.
— Judge, 24th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards